She looked down at the woman, then looked back at the page in her hands. Then looked down again at the woman. This time, the woman looked up and caught her eye.
"Mamale, you don't have a seat? You're crowding me a bit over here."
"Sorry. I'll move." I'll actually be glad to move, she thought.
She walked forward, settling herself against the wall in front of the first row of seats. She now had a clear view of the empty chuppah. And no bothersome woman next to her. She reopened the booklet and began the tefillah just as the music started up again.
She turned towards the back, straining to catch a glimpse of the groom. Her best friend's new best friend. She looked down at the floor as the tears started streaming down her cheeks, gushing forth from some newly discovered spring. Her shoulders heaved as she tried to compose herself. A hand brushed her back, stroked her cheek, and she looked up to see her other friend standing there.
"You okay?"
Obviously not. But she replied "I'll be fine."
"You sure?"
She nodded. The girl walked away, leaving her to her tears and self pity. She hardly heard the sound of "Baruch Habah." She barely focused on the singing, usually her favorite part of the evening. She just watched the floor, focusing on a moving black speck scurrying across the parquet.
The music changed tune, and she once again turned towards the rear of the room, looking for that familiar face that was now hidden behind a cloud of white. Her beautiful, wonderful friend.
to be continued...
5 comments:
So many things to say...
A friend's wedding can be hard, for a number of reasons. If you've been looking for a while, and haven't found yours yet, there can be a hint of jealousy, even. But the saddest thing to me is when it seems like your friend is moving on, and is leaving you behind, for good.
It's not like "I'm going to Israel now, but you'll be there soon, with me." It's not a matter of catching up anymore; you may never see this person again, or at least for a very long time.
My brother asked me on his wedding day that I should dance, and be into it, but make sure not to crowd his buddies out, because he knew from experience that a lot of those guys he wouldn't see too much aftrewards...
So heartwrenching..and well written..
;-(
I sure hope theres a good ending..
wedding are so emotional to begin with..and when you mix in the personal angle.....
I think my best friend had a hard time by my wedding. It's not that she lost me as a friend, but things change. We are leading different lives in different states on different schedules. I have kids and she's struggling with being single. It definitely hurts...I try hard to keep in touch and be there for her, but I'm sure it's not the same.
(mainly in response to Jewmaican:)
While I do feel some of that "left-behind," it's more like a separation completely. Even when I get married iy"H I won't have "caught up"-- it's like being in your own new world which no one else shares. There is so much that single friends share, so many more boundaries for a married person. I feel like the friend under the chupa is now enclosed in glass -- We can still see each other, but she is part of her own little world now, and going into my own glass bubble iy"H won't bring us together like before again.
Bas~melech, you put it perfectly. It's like there's a barrier now between the married friend and everyone else, and even if it doesn't always look like it's there, it is. Also, I've found that a lot of my married friends ended up dropping their single friends--not on purpose, but that's what happened. And it hurts to be dropped.
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