Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Meaningless Hatred

For the past few days, I've been having some discussions (ok, arguments!) with some teens over the meaning of Sin'as Chinam. I told them that when you consider someone annoying, when you just don't like someone, when you hatewhen this person's around, when you don't like the way she sticks to you like glue... all that falls under Sinas Chinam. They were vehemently against all I said - they said that they don't hate the other; they just don't want them around...

What's your take on all this? How do YOU define Sinas Chinam?

For the next week or so, starting from aftr Shabbos, I shall be away and don't know if I'll have any internet access. I'll be back after that, so stay tuned!

Friday, July 20, 2007

I Shall Not Sing

I sit here
at the waters of Babylon.
My back hunched.
My head between my knees.
The waters lap at my feet
beckoning me to join them.
To run away.
I try to cry
yet cannot.
The well of tears
behind my eyes
has dried out.
There are none left to shed.
My home
my beautiful, magnificent
is in shambles.
And I sit here.
Without a voice.
From behind me
I hear footsteps.

We need some entertainment
to help us
what is going on around us.
Sing for us!

Sing what?

Sing what?
A song that you always sang.
One from your home.

But how can I sing
my song
in a strange land?

Sing, you insolent fool!

But my voice is gone.
I don't even open
my lips
to even try to sing.
How can I sing
amongst desolation?
How can I sing my song,
our song,
for those who have taken
song away?

No, I shall not sing.

If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget its strength.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007


I shuffle about the grassy field. The sky is dark above me, yet I can't look up the stars. I just stare at the grayish-green carpet below me, looking around every now and then.

I'm alone, out there in the field. I'm always alone. No one ever wants to come near me. To befriend me. I come out to this place every night, and it's always in solitude. If anyone notices me approaching, they quickly leave the area. They think I don't see them, but I do. And it hurts. Why can't they accept me for who I am?

It's not as if I'm not pretty. I am. And all say that I'm cute and adorable and they'd love to be my friend, but I know they don't mean it. They never do. Even those who stay around once in a while soon discover that they really don't wish to be near me.

So I'm alone.

It's because of one thing. Just one little thing is chasing away the masses from me. And I really can't help it.

The truth is, I smell.

Sunday, July 15, 2007


I just hurt someone's feelings really badly.
I didn't even know I did so until she came to tell me.
And I have absolutely no excuse for saying what I did.

For someone who prefesses to work with teens, and actually, for anyone, the comment was totally uncalled for.

And I feel terrible.


Thursday, July 12, 2007

A Brilliant Idea

You come to me.
Ask me for help
in cleaning up the mess
you've made.

You come to me
And wonder what
I can do
to change the situation.

You come to me
And marvel
at your brilliant idea.


Befriend her.
Change her.
Fix her.
Let her see that what you're doing
is right.

Forget that what I did
is wrong.

It's not hypocritical.
It's life.
Live with it.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007


I feel like someone
boiled up a vat of
and poured it
over my shoulders
and nose.
It's been a couple of days
and the tingling
is still there.
Hot to the touch.
And now
the glue has begun to

Thursday, July 5, 2007


The pain hit me first.
It felt like a massive bowling ball
Down a long
Long lane
Thrown with great force.
Such that I can’t describe.
I watched it journey down the lane
That there was no escape.
The ball just kept rolling
Straight toward the pins
Trying to burst me.
To flatten me.
And I watched it
Just wondering how to escape.
And then,
It made contact.
That massive black sphere
Hurdled towards me
And hit me.
Head on.
And I?
I who thought I couldn’t escape?
I who thought it was all over?
I caught the ball.

If anyone figures me out from this one, please let me know you did, and then keep quiet about it. Thanks!

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Prayer at the Kosel

I know that if I try
I can fly away
I know that if I reach
I'll find something to hold on to
I know that if I sing
I can bring you close
I know that if I think
My mind will think of you

'Cuz every time I say goodbye
I wish I didn't have to
And every time I start to cry
It gets harder to leave you
And every time I sing your song
I long to write just for you
And every time, every time
I want to stay with you.

written last year after a trip to the holy land...

Monday, July 2, 2007


What do you do when you have two different teenagers in one day cry to you over the fact that their friends are influencing them for the worse? And then describe what, in fact, they were influenced to do.

All I could do was cry along with them...

(More later on the actual conversations... just had to get this off my chest...)

actually, I just realized that I can't post the conversations... if I change anything, it just won't sound the same...

I'll try to posts my thoughts on the issue of influence later, though...

Sunday, July 1, 2007


Jewmaican tagged me... Here goes...

1) Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves.
2) The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed.
3) At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

1. I love swimming but rarely go.
2. I love earrings... I own about twenty something pairs.
3. I spray perfume on almost every night before i go to sleep.
4. The only time I ever woke up past 9:00 was the first day of Rosh Hashana in sem. I woke up at 11:30... twas a shabbos, so i didn't miss shofar... i usually wake up with daylight (i think i've used an alarm maybe twice in my life), and the trissim were down so it was BLACK in the room...
5. I'm an awesome cook and baker. Any kind of food, but I prefer spices while cooking... and i won't eat something unless i've laid it out nicely on my plate.
6. I rarely drink fizzy drinks. Crystal Lite is one of my favorite drinks.
7. I was the smallest baby in my family. (if you'd know me, that's quite funny, cuz i'm tall)
8. I never learned to ride a bike.

k, i'm supposed to tag eight people, but i can't do that, so i'm just gonna tag 1. (basmelech's not really around, or i would tag her...) Mel - you're it!