Do it.
No.
Just do it.
No.
Why can't you just say it?
I can't. It's just too hard.
Why?
It's just a new situation. I never did this before.
So what?
So it's much harder than I thought it would be.
And?
And therefore, I can't say it.
Why not?
I don't know what the reactions will be.
Whose reactions?
Mine. And the one I have to say this too.
Ah, you see? You said that you "have to" say this...
Yeah, I know. I know I have to. It doesn't mean I want to.
Well, not everything is easy.
I sure know that.
But you gotta do what you gotta do.
Ok, ok. I hear you.
So, are you gonna do it?
Yeah. It's already done.
Good. So how do you feel?
Good, actually. But kinda sad.
Yeah, I thought you'd feel that way.
I'm glad I had the courage...
I am, too.
But sometimes, doing what's right feels so wrong...
[ouch]
14 comments:
Is it easier talking to your students or to yourself?
oh, definitely my students.
i feel that when i talk to my students, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is putting each word, one by one, into my mouth.
but when i talk to myself, trying to convince myself of something, i feel like i'm all on my own...
Also, when Dreamer talks to herself, Dreamer talks back. And it is very hard to win one on Dreamer :)
basmelech - nearly impossible, that is. that's why it takes so much out of me.
:)
I have back and forth conversations with myself also.
It helps to understand things better.
That seemed like a toughy but you did it, yay for you. I also talk to myself like that all the time.
like i said...its a great second opinion
ps...this is the 3rd word verification...they're really hard!
lvn - it sure does!
swfm - yah, me too. :)
chaya - lol.
sorry... just gotta protect from spammers, ya know..
aslong you did it and your happy that you did it
me as a guy i do it so often in buissness, like am waiting to go in to someone for sales and i am thinking should i go in,i think to my self yes y not? and then but he is going to throw me out
but when i go in and he gives me buissnes i feel great about my self that i did it..
Those conversations with the self can be so very, very hard...I think part of the difficulty is that both "voices" are yours, and it's hard to know which one to listen to sometimes.
My inner voice is not always kind...but I'm working on it.
anon- happy and sad at the same time.
:)
welcome to my blog, btw.
scraps - yup, very difficult.
mine's not either always kind. i just put up a nice one. you should see me when i yell at myself.
lol.
Oh, trust me, I know what it's like to have a very unpleasant voice living in one's head. Just read some of my poetry, especially the first one I ever posted. My internal voice can be downright cruel. (If you need the link, let me know, if you're interested.)
yeah, give me the link...
oh, i can be soooo cruel...
http://thepatchworkgirlspoetry.blogspot.com
The truth is, my inner voice can be crueler than I've posted, now that I'm thinking about it. There are a few poems I wrote when I was in seminary that illustrated it so much better, but the only copies are at home, and I don't live there anymore.
If you'd like to talk more privately, my email address is scrapsthepatchworkgirl at gmail.
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