Purim Date - pre-date jitters

On Purim, we're supposed to reveal our inner selves, right?
So what better day to go out on a date than Purim?
Part one is the Pre-date.
Part two will follow.

Here's how mine would go...

Mom: He said he'll be here at eight. Dreamer, are you ready?
Me: Of course. Ain't I always on time?
Mom: Yeah. Don't know what I was thinking. Is my nose okay? These clown noses never stay on.
Me: Yeah, yeah, it's fine. You look fine. How's my tichel?
Mom: You're wearing a TICHEL? And those EARRINGS? But it's a date! You can't wear that! Go change.
Me: It's Purim, Mom, remember? And my inner self is telling me to wear a tichel. You're wearing that clown costume...
Mom: Well, that's different. I always dress up when you have a date.
Me: (under my breath) Yeah, and I thought I was the one dating...
Mom: What'd you say?
Me: Nothing.
Mom: Okay. Do what you want. Where's Dad?
Me: On the computer.
Mom: Tell him to get downstairs right now! The Boy will be here any minute!
Me: Dad? Dad? You coming? Mom said to get downstairs.
Dad: (grunts) Just one minute, ok?
Me: Mom said now. What are you wearing?!?
Dad: Why? What's wrong? This is me, coming out into the open.
Me: Just come down and show Mom.
(Dad slumps downstairs)
Mom: What are you wearing?!?
Dad: What is it with you women? Don't you know how to say anything else?
Mom: Bu.. b.. but... A COMPUTER?!?
Me: Well, dad's always on it. Makes sense. Though I did think you'd be the clown, Dad. You know you're the funniest one in this family.
Dad: Well, I guess that's just not me. Come, let me see you... Good, good, you look beautiful. If I wouldn't be married yet, I would marry you myself.
Me: Daaaaaaaaaad....
Mom: Where's this date of yours already? It's 8:20.
Me: Must be that he's truly a late fellow. Purim's inner meaning, right? Guess he's not for me, then. I can't stand when people are not on time.
Mom: Come on, give it a chance. Don't label before you've even gone out. And remember what they say: opposites attract.
Me: Well, I'm not a magnet. I don't need someone to be the same person as me, but he's gotta show a little respect for my time.
Mom: You and your time...
(doorbell rings)

To be continued...