For those of you who saw the original pic posted, sorry. Though it was funny, I decided that it wasn't giving the message I wanted.
This was written a while ago and published in a Jewish magazine under a pseudonym.
I felt this was an appropriate time of year to post it.
COMING HOME
All I saw were the eyes.
Staring eyes.
Scrutinizing eyes.
Looking at me.
Up and down.
Up and down.
Coming home after sem is not easy.
Those eyes could drive you crazy.
Tearing you apart.
Examining each piece.
Piece by piece.
Piece by piece.
A fresh piece of merchandise.
New on the shelf.
So I dress the part.
I look the part.
I act the part.
But just know,
I’m me.
30 comments:
I can't imagine a better picture exists to complement this post. Did you include it in the jewish mag.?
Love that pic, great post.
thanks mel and swfm.
sorry.
I removed that pic for various reasons.
I did like it, though.
:)
Great one! As usual!
I don't know what message you were going for, but I understood it to mean, try to see through the smoke and mirrors. There are stereotypes we are expected to conform to, but there is a whole world beneath what you see.
People always show one thing to the world, but inside they are so much more.
This doesn't mean it's a facade, just that there is a world more than just what you see.
LV - thanks.
Mel - Yes, that's most of what I meant.
I didn't mean that the original pic didn't match the poem. What I meant was that the actual picture wasn't giving off the message I wanted for this blog.
Get the difference?
Sad but true.
I had a somewhat different experience, maybe I'll blog about that in June :P but essentially it's all the same phenomenon.
But you really got me curious... what was the original pic?!
No, I don't understand the difference.
Basmelech - yup. waiting to see yours. I'll send you the pic.
Mel - the pic was perfect for the post, but not what I wanted for the overall message of my blog.
Got it now?
I got that part. I don't understand the overall message of your blog, and how that picture takes away from it.
FYI, my research into the halachos of publicizing chessed is not going as well as I hoped. i will write the accumulation of my research on my blog, but it seems that there is a gemorah which justifies it for shidduchim and can maybe be applied to applying for jobs or college. (oops.)
not to say that it isn't less than ideal, which it absolutely is, however it may be justified in certain cases. (see pirkei avos about what seeking honor can do to you.)
Mel - as I responded to LV on someone else's blog, I am a Bais Yaakov girl/woman and proud of it. I didn't think that picture made the cut.
Re: It is completely forbidden according all Poskim to publicize the chessed you do. There is no one who could substantiate a valid argument against this.
LOL.
:)
That's why I asked for sources. I remembered learning about saying these things for shidduchim, but didn't want to say so. It's always better for one to find out one's misconceptions for oneself. (so that one's mind can remain one.)
:)
Don't take it as a victory, all it means is that their is a heter under certain circumstances, it is still frowned upon very heavily in the mussar sefarim. It also doesn't take anything away from the basis of my arguments. (seeking honor diminishes the effect of kidness.)
I am still unsure how that picture doesn't make the Bais Yaakov girl cut. (the only thing I can think of to justify it is kinda wobbly, but assuming one were to make the effort to only process information which is good and holy, i can hear it has the same madreigah of a baseball card, or reading the Newspaper. It definitely falls under the class of Hevel/ nothingness.)
Other than that,I do not understand why it's pas nisht for a Bas Yisroel. (enlighten me)
I wasn't seeing it as a victory. As you and I both mentioned, it is permitted under certain circumstances, whilst you originally wrote that it is NEVER permitted.
That's all.
And as for how something makes the cut; well, for me, it would have to be thinking if I would be embarrassed to have my rav see this. If I would, then es pas nisht.
Nice
But thats whats nice about blogs...
You can be..just you..
Sounds like good criteria, although I imagine your Rav would chuckle at the picture, not to say you wouldn't be embarrassed, just that it really isn't offensive on any level. (maybe cruelty to animals)
As far as victories go, I admit I was completely wrong about the halacha. I made assumptions based on The mishna in Pirkei Avos which says that Honor, Lust and jealousy take a person out of this world. (clouds their judgment). Your method of having me correct myself is one that Dale Carnegie professes in his books, Directing someones thought process to make them think it is their own idea, is the best way to influence people. (well done).
Let me explain where I am going with this chessed thing. The Torah directs us to do or not do certain things to sensitize us to G-d like qualities. Some are commandments, and some are advice. Seeking honor does "X" damage. However, that damage can be justified for a valuable return, I.E. getting married.
So, it is ideal if one can find a shidduch without tooting their own horn, but the damage can be justified and accepted if that isn't possible.
Another example would be a parent telling their kids about the nice things they did/do to teach them to do the same, etc...
So, lets be clear that it is hurtful to seek honor even if it will progress your life, however we see in the gemorah in Baba Metzia that Rabbi Yehuda Hanasi "bragged" about his gemilas chasadim to be able to propose to someone. ( he wasn't successful).
Not to say I am not guilty of the same;I am part of the chevra kadisha. (see Ibid.)
The point is, I am always open to being corrected, as long as they are right. (as was the case here.)
Thank You.
mel - as for "tooting one's horn" in relation to shidduchim, check out the goings-on that used to be n Tu B'Av.
You're part of the chevra kadisha?
That's really amazing.
Don't know if I would have the courage to do that.
I'm not going to enumerate the things I do. Suffice it to say that I could be doing more.
:)
BTW, you're welcome.
david - thanks.
and the point is to be real with those around you, too.
The blog is a stepping stone.
Not and end unto itself.
What did I miss... who's publicizing chessed? Was that some undercurrent of this post about keeping up appearances?
Basmelech - mel and I were just continuing a discussion from the Camp Simcha thread on his blog.
That's all.
Dreamer,
Are you gonna tell the whole world I was wrong?!
Wow, really good one.
It's really true and that's the sad part.
Viewing a person as merchandise is awful.
The whole shidduch system is ridiculously messed up, however I am unsure of a better system out there. It sure beats the bar and club singles scene.
mel - ME tell the whole world?
Don't think the whole world reads this blog.
Besides, YOU already wrote that you were wrong.
Not me.
Prag - thanks. yup.
Mel - sure is.
:-)
okay, I wont look... I'll just peek, when i think that u wont notice
That was just my pride trying to squeeze in one last shot before I crash into the ground.
nuch - i always notice.
mel - the man's ego will prevail.
don't worry.
ift - thanks.
This is a great pic too, either way the poem is awesome.
you know, I was so caught up in you taking down the other picture that I failed to notice what the new picture was of. Indeed, it fits better into the post. Nicely Done.
Congratulations on your 1000th visitor!
Post a Comment