Hi.
Hi, how're you doing?
Not good. Do you have time to talk?
Can I call you back in ten minutes. I'm outside now. Gotta go to someplace private.
Sure. Bye.
Bye.
Hello?
Hi.
Ok, I'm alone now. What's up?
I don't know.
Come on, talk to me. What's going on? How's everything going?
Everything's fine. I mean, it isn't, but it's sort of better than it used to be. It's just that so many changes happened in such a short time, and I just can't deal with them all.
Can't deal? Why not?
I'm not in my home, nothing's the same. Ok, so nobody's yelling at me to get out of the house. So I don't have to deal with my stepsisters, or try to talk to my mom when she doesn't even want to be mine. Still, it's not my place. I feel like everyone's pitying me.
Are they?
I don't know. They're talking about me. My cousins talk to their friends, my aunt to hers. My uncle doesn't talk much, but he never does.
Everybody likes talking about everyone. People like to talk. I'm not going to tell you it's easy, or that it feels good, but in the world we live in, people talk. They talk about me, they talk about you, they talk about whatever strikes their fancy at that moment. What do you want to do about it?
Do? There's not much I can do.
Well, you can't tell anyone else what to do, but you can tell yourself.
But that's the problem. I'm falling apart. I'm going crazy. Sometimes, I think of doing something really bad, just to get back at G-d. I don't know of a single other teenager who's going through all that I am.
Maybe there isn't anyone. After all, each person is different than the other. Even if you would be going through the same as another, you would experience it differently.
That doesn't make me feel better.
It's not supposed to.
But tell me, WHY am I going through all this? I really can't take it anymore.
I can't tell you why, because I really don't know. Tell you what, though. Are you getting back at G-d when you do something bad?
Yeah.
Really?
Well, not really. But I just don't know why He's making me go through all this.
Neither do I. But you've been this strong till now. And doing the wrong thing won't help you cope any better.
K, I hear what you're saying. But.... Woops, gotta go. My dad's coming to take me out to eat.
Bye. I'll speak to you.
17 comments:
Hm. You're good at this. (assuming you're the one in italics :)
Great writing you should be a screen writer:)
basmelech - thanks. yeah, i'm in italics. :)
swfm - thanks. just another thing to add to the list of what i should be doing.
when i have the time, maybe i'll think about it.
sigh
all the lonely people....
May hashem give u the patience and the knowledge to know just what to say..
Was that a phone call of your self? or are you screening other peoples calls?
Not bad, I would love to take notes of all my calls and then look it over in a year from now.. I think it will be pretty funny.
david - amen.
a heimishe - welcome to my blog!
that was phone call between myself and a student, with some details changed to protect anonomity. wasn't really meant to be funny.
though recording some of my conversations would be. :P
i still have some notes written between a friend and I during class in sem and they're absolutely hysterical.
The answer to this question is not a simple one, and it's even tougher to explain it to the one suffering,
In the holy Seforim includng the "Choves halvoves" there are in depth explanation to this, but i wouldn't be able to relate it well in a comment.
But to give u something, I'll quote you a nice point on the topic which is part of a long great article I found to give an in depth explanation on this matter.
I quote it here under the line, it's worth reading, and take your time to check out the full article, print it out and read slowly, it'll help clear some thing out.
- - - - - - - - - -- - - - -
THE BIG PICTURE
I heard a cute story I'd like to share. There once was a farmer who owned a horse. And one day the horse ran away. All the people in the town came to console him because of the loss. "Oh, I don't know," said the farmer, "maybe it's a bad thing and maybe it's not."
A few days later, the horse returned to the farm accompanied by 20 other horses. (Apparently he had found some wild horses and made friends!) All the townspeople came to congratulate him: "Now you have a stable full of horses!" "Oh, I don't know," said the farmer, "maybe it's a good thing and maybe it's not."
A few days later, the farmer's son was out riding one of the new horses. The horse got wild and threw him off, breaking the son's leg. So all the people in town came to console the farmer because of the accident. "Oh, I don't know," said the farmer, "maybe it's a bad thing and maybe it's not."
A few days later, the government declared war and instituted a draft of all able-bodied young men. They came to the town and carted off hundreds of young men, except for the farmer's son who had a broken leg. "Now I know," said the farmer, "that it was a good thing my horse ran away."
The point of this story is obvious. Life is a series of events, and until we've reached the end of the series, it's hard to know exactly why things are happening. That's one reason the Torah commands us to give respect to every elderly person - because through the course of life experience, they have seen the jigsaw puzzle pieces fall into place.
The Torah itself makes this point very clearly. Jacob is raising the next generation of the Jewish people, bringing to the world the message of Ethical Monotheism. And the key character in that picture is his son Joseph, who is kidnapped by his own brothers and sent down to Egypt. Imagine you would come to Jacob at that point in time and ask him about a good God. What's he going to answer?
In Egypt, Joseph became Prime Minister, and when a grave famine hits the entire world, Joseph is a unique position to rescue his family.
When we look at the whole story in retrospect, everything that happened to Joseph was for the good. It set into motion a chain of events where he ended up saving and building the Jewish people.
It is interesting that one of the weekly Torah portions, "Miketz," ends on a bad note, and is then resolved at the beginning of the following week. Why didn't the Torah simply extend "Miketz" a few verses and have it end good? Because the Torah wants to communicate the lesson that we don't always see the whole picture. Sometimes you have to wait to see how "things turn out good in end."
- - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -
credits Rabbi Shraga Simmons
Aish.com
Dreamer, I've seen that where someone wants to do something to hurt someone but they are only hurt themself. I understand how they feel. It helps to release tension. But they don't realize what they are doing to themself until later. A tangible example is like when someone eats a whole lot of junk food.
You're an excellent teacher, much hatzlacha to you
Nuch - thanks. I've heard tht before, but twas good to see it in context.
lvnsm27 - uh, huh. thanks. I try.
:)
big picture is a nice concept but it doesnt validate someones pain. it will just make them feel like a failure in one more thing. there is nothing like a little perspective to make a bad day even worse. you handled this very well. this student wanted to share her frustrations with someone they can respect who can and will hear them and validate the legitimacy of their feelings. this as i understand is precisely the reason for young 'withit'' teachers. sure, hope is very important, but it needs to be delivered by someone who understands where she is coming from. very impressive, well done.
-mel.... (on my phone; too big of a pain to login.)
anono-mel - true. that's why i said what i did. thanks for the commendation.
Apparently you have a very deep ability to "connect" with those in need of emotional support because you really care about these individuals.
Please come back to TheFrumCommunity.com, where your talent and caring are sorely needed as well.
Post Script from last Anon:
Thank you. You did a great job.
I just noticed something suspicious...
Your blog's TFC banner is missing.
anon - thanks. i've been a bit busy, but was reading all the while. came on anyway...
basmelech - maybe soon. can't figue it out yet.
It's never easy to understand the why's in life. Just knowing we have a support group (which this blog shows she does) often helps us through our struggling, frustrating, overwhelming...times. Keep up the good work!
little birdies - for sure.
I'll try!
Chag lasher visameach!
Post a Comment