I wrote this some time ago. It's not finished, and I guess it won't be until something happens... (and please don't read into anything - nothing's happening!)
I'm walking beside you
Trying to understand you
Hoping to find some sort of connection
I'm reading into words
Thinking that they sound absurd
And my mind's flying in every direction
'Cause every time I close my eyes
I feel like I am in disguise
And you can't see behind the mask I wear
And I'm not calling for your help
I just want to be myself
But I'm afraid to show I care
You seem so self assured
While I'm crawling on all fours
You are so close and yet you're miles away
You think you know my mind
That there's nothing new you'll find
And it scares me that I'm feeling the same way
'Cause every time I close my eyes
I feel like I am in disguise
And you can't see behind the mask I wear
And I'm not calling for your help
I just want to be myself
But I'm afraid to show I care
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11 comments:
Haunting...but beautifully written.
It's so often I feel that way...secretly wondering--in a way barely daring to hope--if the other person is feeling the same way...
why are you afraud to show you care?
Does that make you feel vulnerable?
I don’t know what’s going on in your life but I’ve found in my own life that most times I thought “I was afraid to show I cared”, I was actually afraid to admit to myself that I cared.
CP - Thank you.
Yeah, it so tires my emotions out...
david - i guess. when you show you care, you gotta be open, and it' hard to be open with someone you don't really know..
karma - yeah, i guess you can say that.
I don't know why you say it's not finished...
It's great the way it is. Keep it up!
I have the opposite "problem". I care too much about every stranger I meet in the street. I am a very sympathetic person and people end up spilling the beans to me. I have heard too much in my 23 years. I actually used to babysit when I was younger for an aguna. The stories she told me horrified me and made me suspicious of people in general. I didn't like it at all but I felt bad for her and wanted to give her the sympathy she was looking for. I don't think there is anything wrong with showing you care. What can happen? You will make another person feel better...maybe it will draw you closer to them. Maybe I am picking on the wrong part of the poem but just my feelings..
Well-put, but also a little sad.
It's so confusing and draining to feel that way. It's like--how much do I show, how much do I hide, is this one-sided or does it go both ways? [sigh...]
The emotional rollercoaster called LIFE.
Behind a smile, why did you take your blog down? I miss it already. :(
Wow! You definately have talent! Isn't it great to be able to express yourself so well?
Keep 'em comin'
and Hatzlocha with everything!
know what the worst part is?
sometimes we're so afraid to show we care that we give them the complete opposite impression.
We show lack of interest in their life, we're afraid to compliment them, etc...
when really, we care about them so much and we're full of compliments for them inside...
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