Her name was one of those you'd hear and forget; Chany Klein, Miriam Schwartz or some such obscurity. Actually, there were another three girls with the same name in her school alone. And her name fit her persona; a shy, quiet girl; a wallflower without any distinguishing marks.
She lived in a large house in Flatbush. Her parents were quite wealthy, and she lacked for nothing. Nothing, that is, except what she most needed. Love and attention.
Not that her parents neglected her. Far from it! They were the most loving, doting parents one could find for miles around. And they didn't spoil their children either. They knew how to walk the fine balance between giving and giving too much.
But she was a needy soul. Her lackluster appearance did nothing for her self-esteem.
So she decided to change her appearance. She shed the clothes she had been given by her parents and donned some new ones. Astonishingly different ones. She added some holes to her ears and to other parts of her body, to match the holes in her heart. She would arrive late for Friday night dinner, or neglect to show up at all.
Her parents were pained but were at a loss of what to do. And when her younger sister began to copy her, they felt that something had to be done.
They sent her away to a school. This school was supposed to help her; to bring her back home. But the other students at the school taught her new ways of dress and action. She began with marijuana, and then went on to try out other ways of getting high. Of escaping it all.
And one day, she really did escape it all.
And her family was left to mourn the girl she could have been.
Dedicated to the memory of that girl who never found her place...
The title's sorta self explanatory, ain't it? This is the place where the things I dream are sent to cyberspace for all to examine, dissect, and return with comments.
16 comments:
Hamakom yinachem es kol mishapachtam b'toch shaar avaley tzion v'yerushalayim.
What a tragic situation for that family and all of klal yisroel.
How sad. If only people would wake up and look around. There are so many people silently begging for attention. Let's all wake up before it is too late. The family must be in terrible pain. Hashem should send them a nechama.
It's sad, but there are far too many like this--
Ouch, the pain this girl must have been in is unfathomerable. Alone and hurting with no one she felt she could confide in, no one she felt she could trust not to judge her, yet gently guide her and saddest no one to show her the star she could have been. I feel we are all to blame. :`(
Ow
but tell me what can and should be done with a kid like that?
What would YOU do?
I ask 'cause I know some.
They dont wanna hear 'I love you'.
They dont want your company.
They just just wanna be left alone...to wallow in self pity.
How the heck do you reach 'em?
AF - amen.
yup, this is truly a tragedy.
halfshared - yes, we do have to open our eyes... i don't know the family personally, but i'm sure they are. amen.
littlebirdies - yup. makes me cry at the thought of it.
smile - i feel the same...
yingerman - each situation is individual and different, and obviously one should ask proffessionals...
but i disagree with you about sying "i love you"
a kid doesn't want to here that from someone who doesn't mean it. but if you first prove to him/her that you truly care, and then slip in that meaningful saying, the kid won't know what hit him/her. and it really means something.
find something to build the child. don't react through focusing on the wrongs, but rather, the rights.
and try to catch these kids BEFORE they find their own ways of getting attention. once they're off the beaten track, it's much harder to get them back on...
and daven for siyata dishmaya.
What a sad story..
Obviously the ending is horrific..
But this is so common..even without the dramatic end..
I knew her...I remember watching her from afar when we were both kids...
...when tragedies like this happen...it's for us to open our eyes inward and ask ourselves, "Why did this tragedy happen for me? Why did I have to hear/be affected by this?"
And I find that the more crazy things that happen in this world, the more I wonder, "Hashem, what am I supposed to be doing...?! Is it me who's doing the wrong things? Am I not doing enough?..."
And I wish that I could be granted some clarity...clarity to see what I should be doing, thinking, not doing, not thinking...
But I suppose this confusion is the symptoms of galus...
I just wish...that I knew what more I could be doing......
Oh my G-d. Is this the person you were on the phone with that night?
I'm with Yinger... when I get my breath back.
:'(
david - yeah, really sad. and i know it's common.
all too common.
corner - how do you know who i'm speaking of? gosh, i didn't realize i'd made it that obvious...
bas-melech - no.
As a teacher, Ive told colleagues many times that Im not so nervous about the loud, chutzpadik kids. Obviously they need their attention too and it must be dealt with.
But Im always concerned about the quiet ones. The reserved, shy kids who keep to themselves. Because we have no idea whats going on inside their minds or hearts.
The loud ones express themselves pretty clearly, and a perceptive teacher can pick up on their messages.
But the quiet or shy or reserved ones, BEWARE. TEACHERS, NEIGHBORS, FRIENDS, PARENTS- GET TO KNOW THEM. Get to understand their feelings, their needs, their stregnths and weaknesses. We can save lives by turning up our antenas and opening up our hearts.
And I agree with Dreamer- there's no need to say "I love you".
But there is a BIG need to really love them.
Rak b'suros tovos.
Dreamer--
Maybe she's not the same girl I know, but it sounds like the same story...
You know her personally?
IA - agree with all you've said 100%
CP - there are many such stories, rachmana litzlan...
nope. i knew a younger sis of hers at one point, though.
Ouuuuuuuch!
Many educators don't have the heart and patience to bother and deal with such kids.
hashem yismereinu
Oy. This is such a sad story... I don't have any more words.
Horrible story :( like scraps, I'm speechless.
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