Within my mind
Where you can't see
There's something very close to me.
Within my heart
When you can't know
There's someplace that I always go.
Within my soul
What you don't hear
There's someone shrugging off all care.
Within my view
Though blocked by time
There's something scraping off the grime.
Within my thoughts
Strengthened with me
There's someplace where I'm always free.
Within my dreams
Adorned with hope
There's someone struggling to cope.
13 comments:
Nice Poem! you write well.
Gorgeous
beautiful...
you can only struggle to cope when theres hope..
whats the thing thats close to you?
a heimishe - thanks.
swfm - what are you talking about - me or the poem?
:P
david - thanks.
for sure - once there's no hope, one ceases to struggle.
well, i'm close to.... me!
and hashem, hopefully.
:)
Nice poem. It's uncanny, I once wrote something that started very similarly (back in the days when I used to crumple up and toss anything that I couldn't end)
Don't know why, but I find something about that picture unsettling...
(where do you come up with all these well-suited pictures?)
basmelech - thanks. didn't you know that mentally, we're twins?
lol.
you're just an unsettled person, my dear.
and it's called google.
:)
Well I will tell you when you show me a pic haha
you write well!
That's talent! Beautiful.
And it's wonderful to have the ability to really be able to see through... and within....
hatzlocha
I am a little curious about this poem. the first three stanzas seem to revolve around a central theme of being held back by a secret you are afraid to share. Like the issue isn't what is hidden, but the fact that it must be hidden.
The second three stanzas seem to revolve around the theme of perspective, understanding, and growing from a personal experience. Like the issue is what was done, and not the fact that it must be hidden.
Though I don't know why you chose to follow these themes, it would appear to me like you are saying that the key to mastering your interpersonal relationships is to master yourself. If you want to be able to share yourself with others, to put your complete, uninhibited, and vulnerable trust in the hands of another, you must first learn to understand yourself,you must first grow from your experiences, you must constantly fight your inner demons. You must use the experience to make sure you never lose sight of your dreams.
Whatever the case,
it was nicely written, and enjoyable to contemplate.
-Mel
swfm - :)
little birdies - thanks.
nuch - talent is from Hakadosh baruch Hu.
And anyone can have the ability to look within if they want to.
mel - gosh, the way you analyze my poems... I'm beginning to wonder what I meant myself!
:P
All that you said is true.
And yes, there is a difference between the first three and last three stanzas. The first three are more about my thoughts, looking inward, etc. And that others can never see what's inside me.
The last three are of the growth process that comes from thinking and looking within. Not really about reaching out towards others, but rather, strengthening myself.
If I understand you correctly, your poem is saying, by looking into your mind, heart, and soul, the three elements which motivate your decisions, you will come out with a clearer perspective (heart), stronger thoughts/will (mind), and hope (soul), the three tools needed to motivate you to make good decisions.
You can wonder all you want about what you actually meant, ultimately with creativity, you should never underestimate the brilliance of your mind. It can choose words and phrases, and a structure with many layers, with many different levels of understanding.
mel - you got it!
people have always analyzed my poems. and read into me more than i ever would have imagined...
ahhh, the joys of creative brilliance!
:)
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