Before Dawn

Just wrote a new song...
Still playing with the tune.
Feels good. Haven't written one in a while.
:)

It's so black outside before dawn
It's so dark outside while I'm waiting for morning
The stars are asleep
And the sun hasn't yet awakened
And it feels like the cold will not desist

Yet tomorrow, the sun will shine
As it shined yesterday
And tomorrow, I'll be coddled by its rays
Yes tomorrow, the sun will shine
Heralding the new day
Tomorrow will be a better day.

As I peer outside, I see hope
As I look outside, I know I'm only coping
Now the world is washed in silver
But soon, it'll bathe in gold
As the sun releases morning's kiss

Tomorrow, the sun will shine...

I am

I am an ant
In the dust
Scurrying about
Collecting
Scavenging
Piling at times.
Always watching out for the
Big Shoe.

I am a bee
In the air
Flying about
Collecting
Concocting
Stinging at times
Always watching out for the
Big Hand.

I am an earthworm
Underground
Sliding about
Squirming
Softening
Slimy at times
Always watching out for the
Big Bird.

I am me...

Smile!

Put on a happy face and smile at the world.
My cousin, you're always so good at that.
Always so bright and cheerful, no matter what may be churning inside.
And though I guess it's still under wraps, I think I saw something last night that brought a true smile to your face and heart, and to mine as well.
May it go easy, and may you be blessed with all things good.
Bishaa Tova, my dearest.

And keep smiling!

Do You Know?

Do you know how hard it was for me
To smile last night?
Do you know how hard it was for me
To help you out?
Do you know how hard it was for me
To talk to you about college and the like?
Do you know how hard it was for me
To just breathe?
Do you know how hard it was for me
To go from aveilus to simcha to more aveilus to more simcha?

Oh, how I wish it wasn't so hard...
But when I look at that empty seat, my heart constricts, and it's ever so difficult to enlarge it and accept all the happiness around me.

How?

How can one person
Feel so much pain?
How can one soul
Have two of the same?
How can one's tears
Be washed by the rain?
How can one stumble
And not have a cane?
How can one smile
When all isn't tame?
How can one lose two
And still remain sane?


To lose a husband and brother within two weeks....

My poor, poor Bobbi...

My Zeidy

I thought you were
invincible
I thought you were
unstoppable
I thought that you would never go away.

I never thought I'd
say this
I never thought I'd
live this
I never thought that I'd cry here today.

I wish I could have
called you
I wish I could have
seen you
I wish that I could kiss you one more time.

I know you know
I love you
I know you know
I miss you
I know that you will never leave my mind.

.

Hmmm...?

Woke up in the early dawn
Sweating in my sleep
Hunched over, clutching center
'Twasn't very sweet

I did feel kind of nauseous
As I dashed into the loo
Though I was feeling crummy
There was one thing I knew

I could never tell YOU.

See, I knew that if I'd say
That I wasn't feeling great
Your eyes would travel center
To see if I'd gained weight

Then you'd gently give a knowing smile
And ask me when I'm due.
Did it ever occur to you
That I simply have the flu?