Downturn

The economy's failing, and so is the company I work for.
:(
They're not saying anything yet, but they're majorly cutting costs, and I have a funny feeling that I'll be given the sack soon.

While I was thinking of leaving anyway, I need to decide on a new job. Right now, it seems that there's not much available in the field I'm in, unless I branch out on my own. (which means trying to get clients in a bad economy = no go)

If any of you know of any good jobs around Lakewood, please let me know!

Before Dawn

Just wrote a new song...
Still playing with the tune.
Feels good. Haven't written one in a while.
:)

It's so black outside before dawn
It's so dark outside while I'm waiting for morning
The stars are asleep
And the sun hasn't yet awakened
And it feels like the cold will not desist

Yet tomorrow, the sun will shine
As it shined yesterday
And tomorrow, I'll be coddled by its rays
Yes tomorrow, the sun will shine
Heralding the new day
Tomorrow will be a better day.

As I peer outside, I see hope
As I look outside, I know I'm only coping
Now the world is washed in silver
But soon, it'll bathe in gold
As the sun releases morning's kiss

Tomorrow, the sun will shine...

I am

I am an ant
In the dust
Scurrying about
Collecting
Scavenging
Piling at times.
Always watching out for the
Big Shoe.

I am a bee
In the air
Flying about
Collecting
Concocting
Stinging at times
Always watching out for the
Big Hand.

I am an earthworm
Underground
Sliding about
Squirming
Softening
Slimy at times
Always watching out for the
Big Bird.

I am me...

Smile!

Put on a happy face and smile at the world.
My cousin, you're always so good at that.
Always so bright and cheerful, no matter what may be churning inside.
And though I guess it's still under wraps, I think I saw something last night that brought a true smile to your face and heart, and to mine as well.
May it go easy, and may you be blessed with all things good.
Bishaa Tova, my dearest.

And keep smiling!

Do You Know?

Do you know how hard it was for me
To smile last night?
Do you know how hard it was for me
To help you out?
Do you know how hard it was for me
To talk to you about college and the like?
Do you know how hard it was for me
To just breathe?
Do you know how hard it was for me
To go from aveilus to simcha to more aveilus to more simcha?

Oh, how I wish it wasn't so hard...
But when I look at that empty seat, my heart constricts, and it's ever so difficult to enlarge it and accept all the happiness around me.